Those who plant in tears will harvest SHOUTS OF JOY. They weep as they plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the HARVEST.



Psalm 126:5-6

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Feeling Kind of Blue

The past few days have been really strange lately. I am feeling a little down emotionally for some reason. I can't really put my finger on what is triggering this but I am praying it goes aways soon. I feel like all I want to do is cry. I think part of it might be that a lot of women at church have had their babies and I feel like my day is never going to come. I am even having a hard time believing that everything is o.k. with this pregnancy. I have been told everything looks great but I just can't wrap my heart around this baby. I don't know why. I feel him kicking all the time but still have doubts about having a healthy baby. I know that sounds crazy but that is really how I feel.

It also doesn't help that I have been having these weird dreams at night. One dream was that my doctor had to cut me open like a c-section and drain some fluid while I was still pregnant. This dream was really weird because after he did this he told me I would have to have a c-section to have this baby. Then last night I had this dream that my sister was pregnant. She was waiting to have a c-section and she kept telling me that it hurt really bad. I told her to stay still and I would get a nurse. When we got the back the baby was crowning and within 1 push the baby was born but was not breathing. No one did anything. All the doctors just stood there and said, "They don't worry about it until it has been 5 minutes." Bizarre, how bizarre.

4 comments:

Karen said...

Susan,
Oh, sweet one...I think it is only natural to have fears and weird dreams. I am sure your heart is still tender. But don't let the enemy steal your joy over this miracle growing inside you.
And I will pray that for you....that God will grant you peaceful sleep and that He will carry away your fears.
Blessings and praying...Karen

Nana C said...

Susan, well last night at grief share when prayer request time came, I asked for pray for you..see God has so many holding you up....be still love mom

K∂riиє* Smith. said...
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~Traci~ said...

Thinking of you today. I can remember having strange dreams too. Praying for peace for you and when the time is right you'll be holding your sweet baby in your arms.