Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
-Last January I was still getting used to having a little boy in my life.
-February is always a good month with Daddy having a birthday and our special little Brecken at the end of the month. She turned five this year and I see her spreading her wings and getting a voice.(Not to sure if that is a good thing or not)
-March began with Levi getting very sick very fast. I took him in and he had RSV. He seemed to heal very quickly, and then him and I were off for a five day trip to Phoenix. I got to see my best friend and many other friends during that trip. Levi got to meet his Aunt Lisa and cousins Blane and Dusty. It was a great trip but mommy and boy were ready to get home and see all the girls, and daddy.
-April is always a warm welcome because we know that warm days will be coming soon, and that our April baby will be adding another year. Reaghan turned the big 9, watch out she will be moving into the double digits.
-May Nana and Papa came to visit, and celebrate Kharis Ann's 3rd birthday. I will never forget that birthday she requested PBJ sandwiches, Cheetos, and veggies and dip, YUMMM.
-June was a very cool month and not much swimming got done but lots of outside time in the cool summer nights. It was great I wish every summer was that refreshing.
-July was nice and warm so we were able to get lots and lots of swimming in. We went to Seward Nebraska for the 4th of July and had a wonderful time. It was so chilly watching the fireworks that we had blankets and jackets on. Pretty crazy. Marc and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary with a picnic at Viking Lake. It was very romantic. Creighton turned 7 on the 17th. We Spent a weekend in Des monies at a Fathers of Vision conference which was wonderful. July 23rd I found out i was pregnant with baby number 8. Boy that was an exciting month.
-August was pretty hot and I was pretty sick.
-September Marc's parents came to visit and celebrate Levi's first birthday. Maclae turned 11 just 4 days later. We had a wonderful visit with Gram and Grandpa,on our three day trip to South Dakota with them. Mommy heard babies heartbeat for the first and last time.
-October was interesting. I was getting big and starting to feel better. I had felt the baby move a couple of times and really getting excited about the next few months. Then on Oct. 21st I woke up and looked at my self in the mirror and thought to myself , "I don't feel pregnant anymore." About and hour later I started spotting. About two hours later we had been given the news no one ever wants to hear "There is no heartbeat." I will never ever forget that day I can still see myself lying on the ultrasound table feeling like I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. We came home and told the children and began to walk down a very dark and lonely road. On October 23rd at 6:21 I gave birth to Elias Arthur Lee who had already gone home to be with the Lord. My saving grace through all of this has been that my baby boy will never have pain or sorrow or grief, because he is already sitting with the King. The road we were about to travel would not be easy but with God all things are possible.
-November was pretty much a blur to me. My mom came to stay with us and I pretty much went on with life and the daily happenings at night and when I needed a minute I would sneak away and cry like a baby. Thanksgiving was a pretty good day for me.
-December started out with my oldest turning 13 on the 8th. We had a great time Emily and i spending the day shopping in the city and then going out ot dinner with Dad. Her and I stayed in a hotel that night and just hung out. I was really excited about Christmas but then a couple of days before I got really depressed. We got 12 inches of snow for Christmas which was nice to have. The kids have really enjoyed sledding. I turned 36 on the 29th and am looking forward to a new year. Praying that the Lord will guide me through this time I am in. Not really feeling much Joy right now just kind of going through the motions.
To everyone have a great New Year's and may we all seek Christ in the coming year.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
I can't believe I am excited about snow but we have not had any this season and I was really getting worried that we might not get any before Christmas. I know this sounds crazy but it just doesn't seem like Christmas if there isn't any snow. I grew up in Southern California my whole life and then lived in Phoenix Arizona for the first 10 years of our marriage. This is why for some friends and family they probably are saying you always had Christmas without snow.Yes this is true, but once you have experienced Christmas with snow it is a whole new world. Kind of like when you experience Christmas with Christ, a whole new world.
So needless to say I am a little excited. We only got about 2 inches but tomorrow night we are supposed to get 10!!! Yeah!! Sledding here we come.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
We had a great Thanksgiving. Got all of our Christmas stuff out and up and we are now ready to enjoy the month of December.
Grandpa should be getting here this weekend which both the kids and Nana are counting the days.
I looked at the calendar and realized I would be 22 weeks along a little sad but understand that for some reason I was not supposed to see Elias at this time. Believing the Lord knows what is best in all circumstances. These past 6 weeks have been hard but have also been joyful as I
learn to see life differently than I ever have before.
Hope you all had a great Turkey Day.
Oh and wanted to say Thank you to my friend Lori for taking care of my blog again. I love it.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The chickens finally laid their first egg.
The girls and I were so excited you would have thought it was Christmas at our house. The funny thing is that we have not been checking the nesting box so it had been there for a while. Needless to say the chickens got sick of waiting for us to come and get it so they cracked it and our first egg we didn't even get to eat. That's o.k. there will be others.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
O.k. yesterday was a really bad day. I realized it was exactly four weeks yesterday that we learned that I had lost the baby. Might explain why I was having a bad day.
Today I wake up and I am determined it is going to be a better day. Things were going pretty well. Kids had finished school before lunch which makes it nice for all of us. We were just kind of hanging out when the mail came. Low and behold lurking in the mailbox was the BILL. The hospital bill. After looking at it and seeing what the insurance paid not really sure why we even have insurance. But then again I should be thankful we don't have to pay the full amount. I remember my dear friend Allison telling me that when we received the hospital bill it could be a difficult time. Not really sure if it makes me sad or mad. I'm mad about paying a bill and having nothing to show for it and sad that I am still dealing with anger. All I can say is the good Lord knows all and he will get us through this.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wow lately I have been feeling great and have really had some good days. Then today I wake up and just feel really out of sorts. So many thoughts and emotions running through my head right now. Lately I have been surrounded by new babies and pregnant mommies, for the most part I do o.k. There are times when I just look away and cry hoping no one sees the tears.
this afternoon I took a bath and thought many different things. Mainly thoughts that I know are not from Christ but surely from the enemy.
I am old and no good anymore.
I wasn't worthy of a baby.
I will probably never hold a live baby again.
Then my mind went to thoughts of why:
Why couldn't I hold this baby.
What did I do wrong.
Did I not pray hard enough.
I had to stop myself with all this torture because I was beginning to feel like I would explode. Maybe I need to explode. I try to be so strong for the kids and everyone else. I don't want people to know that I can't get past this. It really stinks!!! I will get through this I just want it all to be over. I want the Lord to fast forward my life to the season of when I am on a mountain top again. I know there are probably many people who are thinking to themselves get over it, that was a month ago, move on, be happy with what you have, all the things people say that don't help a grieving soul. I read a woman's blog and she said, "She wanted to stay in bed and pull the covers over her head because she hurt so bad." That is me right now I just want to go to bed and not get out until all the hurt is gone. But I won't I will keep walking through this mud and gunk until I get through it. One minute at a time, with the good Lord by my side. I am finally able to talk to God more on a relational basis . This really is an improvement. Before I was just crying out to Him begging Him to carry me. So thankful that he never walks away and is waiting for me with open arms and no condemnation.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A dear friend of mine commented that I had forgotten to put her picture up. I didn't forget I was just saving the best for last. Thanks Lori. Now my little Reaghan gets a post all to herself. Love you Ray Ray.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I have sat here in a really weird mood these past couple of days. I have had many encouraging comments. Today I got a comment from a wonderful young lady whom I go to church with. When I read her comment all I could do was cry. I do not feel very strong today and I feel like I am just in a fog. I was encouraged because she could see my strength through this even though I can't. It made me realize that the Lord is carrying me through this and I don't have to do it alone. Two weeks ago tonight we found out that our baby had died. At that point I didn't know how I would get through one day let alone two weeks. But look we have made it and it has been up and down but we are getting better. I am still for some reason physically tired but I know that too will end.
Daddy has gone back to work and I think that was harder on him than he thought. Last night we talked and shared some of our thoughts about what has been going on. It made me realize that sometimes we forget that the Dad is grieving also. So prayers for daddy would be greatly appreciated right now. Thank you all of you who have been with us through this. I am really going to try to write a post that is just about life and the kids next time. Until then have a blessed day.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What a week we have had. Yesterday we drove to South Dakota to bury our son. He is buried in a little cemetery along with many other Jensen's. The first one's to come to the United States are buried there. It is neat how there are many generations all together. We do not know where we will settle so the Lord provided a resting place among other family members. Makes my heart feel good to know He is in Heaven with the lord but he is also in a place where I can go and visit him. Know it sounds weird but I really wanted some form of memorial for him. The days are long and I know they will get easier. Wanted to also say thank you to all of you who have been praying for us. We have felt the hand of God upon us many times through these past days.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Also wanted to share with all of you that we had a baby boy on Friday evening. He had already gone to be with the Lord so I know he is in a better place. Not sure why we never got to hold him here on earth. Those are things like Daddy says, "We won't understand on this side of Heaven. He was perfect he had ten fingers and ten toes. I noticed his little ears and he looked so peaceful. We named him Elias Arthur Lee. Elias I Know we will meet you in Heaven someday.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Here is the book she read.
Dan at bat.
Pat at bat.
Pat ran. Dan ran.
Pretty basic but she's got it. Thanks Hooked on Phonics. It has worked for us.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
This is a picture of him after he had realized we weren't taking the cake away and it was his to pig out on. Let me tell you that was the highlight of his day.
His new lawn mower.
"HOTWHEELS my favorite!"
" Wow look at all the neat stuff I got. And you girls can't touch it."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
make music to the Lord with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing,
with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn- shout for joy before the Lord,
the King. Psalm 98:4-6
Just a quick little Praise to the Lord. Our oldest daughter Emily has been taking guitar for about a year now and has really blessed the family by playing praise and worship for us during our devotions. With the new semester beginning I knew that we would have to take a break due to unexpected vehicle expenses over the summer. I fought in my mind about it but knew that the lord wanted us to be good stewards with our money and this was an area that we needed to let go. I talked with Emily and she was very mature and said she understood. I told her that if she continued to work at home then next semester we could put her back in. Well she went to guitar and told her teacher she would not coming for the next semester. She told him that she would return in the winter. I am sure he knew it was for financial reasons. He gave her a letter and told her to fill it out and bring it back. This letter was for a scholarship that they give to help with tuition. I was a little reluctant at first. We filled out the paper work and expressed to them that either way we would be back next semester. I had just told her today that I had not heard any news and to not be disappointed. She said, " Mom I know I will be alright." Well later today we got an e-mail that stated she would be receiving the scholarship. PRAISE THE LORD! I never see excitement in Emily and when I told her the news today she couldn't contain herself. I love how the Lord has blessed this faithful servant of His. This was a blessing for Emily not for Momma. Thank you Lord for showing me how much you care about my children. ( Well really YOUR children)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
O.k. it is official I am getting older. Today while I was in the bathroom combing my hair guess what I found? Yep you guessed it a big ugly GREY hair. I couldn't believe it. I stood there for about five minutes with my face jammed in the mirror to make sure I wasn't just seeing a glare because of the lighting. nope there was no glare there was just one lone grey hair sticking out of my head.
So on my way to the grocery store I called my husband to tell him what I had found. He didn't have much to say as i don't think it affects men the way it does us women. My oldest daughter was with me and she just simply said, " Just remember what you always tell me it is just your next season in life." Such WISE words Emily.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Hope you all enjoy a look at what we have been up to and I hope to get better at posting.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The girls have been going to vacation Bible school the last couple of nights and have really been having a great time. Last night our 5 year old came home with a little flower pot that she had painted. I asked her if she would like to plant something in the pot. She was so excited she said," Mommy can we plant some weeds."
Being the mommy who thinks everything has to be in order I told her lets plant some flowers or maybe some herbs that we can use when we cook. She thought that was a great idea. I told her we could maybe plant Basil, or Rosemary or something that would make our food taste really good. She got so excited she ran downstairs and said, " Creighton mommy said we can plant some ribs like we had at that place the other night." When I heard that all I could do was laugh. The only reasoning I could come up with for this was that the other night we had ribs and she just thought since I said we would cook with them it would be something she could eat. I am still pondering how planting herbs could lead to her thinking we would plant ribs. I guess they kind of sound alike. Thanks Brecky for making us all laugh. You are truly a joy to our family.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wow time sure flies. I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged. Really can't figure out a reason why. We have had a pretty lazy summer. Gone to the pool a few times. Had some bar-b-ques nothing real special. Just enjoying the weather and letting the kids play.
Levi is now 9 months old and has 4 teeth. I can't believe these months have gone by so fast. I am beginning to look at school curriculum for this fall and am still in shock that my oldest will be in 7th grade this year. And my 5th born will be starting kindergarten. It should be an interesting school year as I again teach another little one how to read. I so enjoy those first achievements and I really enjoy it when I am the one who gets to hear it first. the Lord has been so gracious in blessing us to be able to home school these children and I know He will continue.
Well everyone out there have a great 4th of July and I hope to not be away from blogging so long this next time.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Here are some pictures to kind of bring you up on what had happened so far this spring in R.O. Iowa.
The kids wanted some chickens...... so grandpa was asked to help build a chicken coop. these are some pictures to show how things went....... bear in mind that there were other projects that just had to be started while building the coop.
I had lots of help with building........
Trying to get it right........
More measuring ..... we will get it right...
We keep going, and measuring......
I had to keep talking to my 5 year old to convince her not to run......
Working to get it right..........
Go in dog gone nail...........
HEY..... I was suppose to pet you...... you pecked me...........
See we have 6 baby chicks..............