Where has the time gone. I just looked at my ticker and my days are now in the 30's. I have had some emotional days lately and I am sure it is just because I am getting closer. I don't even know if I can explain how I have been feeling. Guilt is one word. Which I know guilt is not from the Lord so I am really working through this. I feel guilty that this little boy gets to be born and be a part of our family. I have those questions again and don't understand why Elias never made it.
Questions. I know these are all questions I will never have an answer for, and even when I get to Heaven it won't matter. So why do I worry and wonder about this, well because I am human and it still hurts. I wonder what it will be like to hold this little one in my arms. Will I have that same feeling as I have with all the other ones, or will I question why he is here and not Elias. I know this sounds crazy but this is how I feel. I am praying and asking God to see me through this, which I know he will. It has just been a little different this time.