O.k. everywhere I look people are pregnant or having babies. It really kinda stinks. I think I am o.k. with everything and then WHAM it hits me right in the face and I realize I am not o.k. I was just talking to a dear friend yesterday about how I want to be content. I want to be at the point that I am o.k. if I don't have anymore children. Well I AM NOT!!!! Why can't all this craziness in my head just stop.
Last night I laid in bed and talked to God for probably half the night. Which is not a bad thing but believe me I wasn't praising God the whole time, I think I mostly complained. I know God knows my heart and He knows how I feel but for some reason I felt like I needed to verbally tell Him. Why? I have no clue.
I know it will take time, but how much time? I really don't know but I will be glad when I am not so up and down and am truly content with what the Lord is doing in my life. I am so not there yet.