Quick Update

I just looked at my ticker and it says 80 days. I can't believe it. Where has this pregnancy gone?
I was just talking to my Pastor's wife and I was sharing with her that I still don't have that excited feeling yet, and that daddy hasn't even felt the baby move yet. can you say denial? I guess when I am holding my baby in my arms then it will be real. This has been a wonderful pregnancy physically and I am so thankful for that. God is so good after a storm he really blesses us with a beautiful rainbow and I feel like he has done that with this pregnancy.

So, onto other news. My oldest daughter turned 14 yesterday. I don't know where the time has gone. It is really weird because I always get emotional on her birthday. I was up in my room crying yesterday for no reason but I am sure it was because of her birthday. She had a wonderful day and got her special gift which was a camera. We sent her on a scavenger hunt to find it and the final stop was the oven. She was so excited. last night when I went to bed I am sure she had taken over a hundred pictures. Emily we are so blessed to have been given the gift to be your parents, you truly are a blessing and bring us Joy everyday.

Here is our Emily in all her glory. Her cake was decorated blue and she saved her frosting till last for this reason.

Our Trip to South Dakota Part 2

O.k. this picture is suppossed to be at the bottom of the page but I messed up. So here is Reaghan with her daddy on the go carts. She was in heaven and had a blast.This picture didn't rotate. Sorry. These are pictures from our trip to South dakota. Only a month later. After we spent the morning at the cemetary visiting Elias we took the kids to Sioux Falls to lunch and then off to miniature golf. This is Kharis learning how to hold the golf club. Didn't last very long she wanted to de it her way and that's what we let her do. As soon as Levi got his club it became a gun. This kid is 150% BOY. Even though he lives in a house with 6 big sisters.

They had this wonderful game that the kids and daddy fell in love eith. It was called human fooseball. The kids played for well over an hour and laughed the whole time. We recruited some extra team mates so we could have a real game. Hubby thinks someone st our church needs to make one of these for fellowship Sundays. They had a blast.

Maclae was goalie and did an awesome job.

Dad surprised the girls and took them on the go carts. Living on a budget the miniature golf was pretty pricy so I figured there was no way to do go carts, but dad surprised them by using his lunch money for the week. What a great Dad. They all had a blast with this extra treat. Thanks Daddy for making it such a special day for all of us. None of m y pictures turned out of Maclae driving, but this one of her waiting to start the RACE.

Here is Emily rounding a corner she had a blast and could have done this all day long.

We all had a wonderful time and really needed to laugh and play as a family after such a long year. We had a such a great day wish everyday could be like this one.

100 Days

I can't believe it I have 100 days left. It seems like a lot to some people but this is a day I have been looking forward to. As each day ticks by the reality is beginning to sink in that we are going to have a baby. This time a year ago I remember being so truly in the midst of the grief. I think it was overtaking me, but at the time I didn't see it. I really thought I would never hold a little one in my arms again. I still have a hard time feeling like this is real, but it is.

A Better Day

Well I can say that the blues have left me. I am feeling much better and am getting excited about the holidays which will be here before we know it. I think part of my problem last week was that we took the week off from school to get some big chores done, so our schedule went out the door. I am just a momma who likes to have some type of order to her life. By Thursday night my husband had said, "I think you need to do school with the kids because they are out of control." This was the truth, they were CRAZY and WILD.
Today we are back to doing school and life feels normal again. Right now the kitchen is clean, Bible time is over, kids are in their jammies, the house is settling down and becoming quiet and mommy feels great. I love this time of the evening when the kids are coloring, reading, or playing something quiet it brings true Joy to my heart. I also love the noisy times too but the quiet evenings are my favorite. I am looking forward to a great week, hope you all in blog land also have a great week.

Feeling Kind of Blue

The past few days have been really strange lately. I am feeling a little down emotionally for some reason. I can't really put my finger on what is triggering this but I am praying it goes aways soon. I feel like all I want to do is cry. I think part of it might be that a lot of women at church have had their babies and I feel like my day is never going to come. I am even having a hard time believing that everything is o.k. with this pregnancy. I have been told everything looks great but I just can't wrap my heart around this baby. I don't know why. I feel him kicking all the time but still have doubts about having a healthy baby. I know that sounds crazy but that is really how I feel.

It also doesn't help that I have been having these weird dreams at night. One dream was that my doctor had to cut me open like a c-section and drain some fluid while I was still pregnant. This dream was really weird because after he did this he told me I would have to have a c-section to have this baby. Then last night I had this dream that my sister was pregnant. She was waiting to have a c-section and she kept telling me that it hurt really bad. I told her to stay still and I would get a nurse. When we got the back the baby was crowning and within 1 push the baby was born but was not breathing. No one did anything. All the doctors just stood there and said, "They don't worry about it until it has been 5 minutes." Bizarre, how bizarre.

Family Picture

This summer when we went to California we had family pictures done. I think we have finally picked one to blow up and send to grandparents. Levi has a goofy look on his face and Kharis is acting silly but that is one of the reasons why we liked this one. The kids were being kids and I think those are some of the best photos. I have a few more and once we get thme all cleaned up I will post those also. Just wanted to share.

A Good day

Today was a wonderful day. I went to a dear friend's house and held her new baby boy in my arms for hours. It felt so good. I haven't held a baby boy since I lost Elias. This was the first one and it was absolutely wonderful. He was so tiny and perfect and he just let me hold him and look at him.

Makes me very excited for my baby to arrive. I still have a long ways to go but each day is one day closer. My ticker is almost to day 100. Thank you Lord for this special day.