Those who plant in tears will harvest SHOUTS OF JOY. They weep as they plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the HARVEST.

Psalm 126:5-6

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's Been Almost A Year

I don't know where this past year has gone. On October 23rd it will have been a year since I gave birth to our little Elias who had already gone home to be with Jesus. The first 6 months after the loss are a total blur to me. I missed out on so much because I was struggling with the loss. I know we all grieve differently but I just couldn't get out of that miry pit. Until the day my 13 year old daughter said, " She didn't even think I cared about anything but losing the baby and having another one." Boy did that hurt. She was right, I had made everyone else in the house feel like they meant nothing to me. It was a wake up call to be thankful for all I had and that I was a very blessed momma.
Almost a year later and I have really had a change of heart about my children. They are all gifts and they are truly not mine. They are the Lord's and only on loan to me until he calls them home. During the time I have them I need to love them and teach them to love the Lord. I am still so very sad that I lost Elias but at times I am so very thankful because it has given me a different outlook on life. I understand how precious life is and to really cherish the time you are given with loved ones.
This weekend we will go to South Dakota to celebrate our little boys first year in Heaven. I actually look forward to this, there will be tears but I also know that I will see him someday and all my tears and pain will be no more.


Karen said...

(((Hugs))) to you dear friend! May God give you Peace and Comfort as you celebrate your Son's First Heavenly Birthday!


Lori said...

I'm so glad you've overcome that hump! I know it hasn't been an easy journey, but you've made it! Something I heard you say you didn't think would happen :o) Have a Joyful celebration!

~SALLY~ said...

It's also been a year since I have "met" you...what a blessing it has been to see you triumph in your sorrows. Thank you for being strong and for "wearing your heart" on your blog. As a young mother, you have taught me alot...especially about appreciating and loving my children. Praying for you this weekend and rejoicing with you in the hope of seeing little Elias one day!!!

Blessings, sister.

Karen said...

I have been praying for you these last few days as you approach Elias' Heavenly birthday. Your words are so precious and evidence of God's work in your life...such a beautiful testimony.
I will pray for a safe trip and a sweet time together as a family remembering little Elias.

Anonymous said...

Bless you, Susan. Praying for your continued comfort.

Karen said...

Praying for you today and been thinking of you.